I used to complain about food markup. But not anymore. (I’ve heard anecdotally that restaurant food markup is generally around 70 percent, but truthfully I don’t care enough to actually research that figure. It sounds good to me, so I’m going with it).
Tonight, my husband and I realized we forgot (ever so conveniently) to defrost the turkey carcass in our freezer for the turkey noodle soup I planned to make tonight. Of course, I immediately identified this as a perfect opportunity to eat out, my favorite alternative to cooking. In light of the rain storm we’ve been blessed with, my mind immediately drifted to warm comfort food–soups, noodly dishes, and the like. Andrew suggested Italian, and a date night was born.
We both ordered one of the specials, a farfalle pasta dish with shrimp, lobster, plum tomatoes, spinach, and basil. I think it was around $19 a plate, which sounds a bit steep for pasta, practically the cheapest food ever (although the lobster should account for a few bucks). But the more I think about it, the more I am convinced I got a great deal.
Not only did I pay $19 for pasta, but I also got someone else to make it for me, which includes shopping for the food (my least favorite chore) and locating any pricey out-of-season ingredients, like the fresh basil.
The dear chef, bless his heart, also chopped all the smelly garlic, saving my hands from the gross smell. He also had the fun job of squeezing the lemon juice (also any microscopic cuts or hangnails on my hands from astonishingly acute pain). He also washed all the vegetables (at least I hope he did), which for some reason always stresses me out (did I wash this tomato enough, or will I be paying homage to the porcelain gods later tonight due to a microbe I might have missed?)
And then, when I think of having to boil a lobster alive, well, I’m not PETA activist, but that is one task I’d just rather leave to the professionals. Crustacean killing is worth at least $5!
Another marvelous thing about buying expensive food? I also buy the cleanup. I come home and there are no dirty dishes in my sink! I figure that paying a maid to do dishes and clean the kitchen for half an hour would cost at least $10-15, probably more.
Oh and one of my FAVORITE things about restaurant food is that I don’t have to hunt around for the right plastic container and matching lid to package up my leftovers. Yes, the dear restaurant workers do that, too. And sometimes I can even reheat the food in the wonderful disposable container, maybe even eat out of it, saving me yet another dish to put in the dishwasher. Now that I think of it, I might even have decent enough aim to launch the empty container into the trash can right here from my couch, without even having to get up! OK, maybe this is going too far…
I think you get my point by now. When I go out to a nice restaurant and enjoy an evening out with my hot date, my husband, I’m not just paying $19 for pasta that could’ve been purchased in bulk for 70 cents. No, I’m paying for a deliciously guilty and calorie-laden experience of laziness, peacefulness, and spare time. Who wouldn’t trade $19 for that?
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