Let Him Have a Man Cave!

I read a great article about a guy who built a small cabin for him and his man friends to hang out in.  They call it “The Ponderosa.”  If you read the article, you’ll find out the cabin is substantially less than–how shall I say–functional.  There is no plumbing.  No power.  The roof leaks. But somehow, this only adds to its charm.

I immediately thought that a man cave–a place where men can get away from everything and kick back with their friends over a cold one–was a great idea.  Men need a place where they can be away from, well, women.  I mean this as a compliment when I say men are simple creatures.  They don’t need much to be happy. They have a few basic needs that, when fulfilled, pretty much keep them on an even keel.  We all know there are exceptions, but in general they’re easy to please.

So, I was shocked and surprised to see several comments at the end of the article from some bitter, bitter women claiming that these men were either immature or stupid for wanting a man cave.  EXCUSE ME, but what is wrong with wanting a man cave?

I’ll just ignore the man-bashing comments, but I would like the address the many women who wondered why men would want to “get away” from their wives.

Well, women of the WOL, if you have to ask that question, then I have some rather distressing news to share with you:  Your husband needs a man cave because he needs an escape from your controlling him, as in saying he can’t have a man cave!

Come on ladies, all the guys want is a place where they can laugh and fart freely  as loud as they want.  If they do that at home you probably yell at them, so why wouldn’t you want them to have a place where they can do it where they won’t annoy you?

Some objected on the grounds that the men shouldn’t be leaving their families to go carousing with their buddies.  Well, I think the point here is that you should marry a man you can trust.  If you marry a decent guy, you won’t have to worry about him being an idiot when he’s more than 50 yards away from you.  So, an occasional weekend or Saturday away with the guys is no cause for concern. If, on the other hand, you marry a loser, well…that’s really YOUR problem, not his.  He doesn’t have a problem with his loser behavior and you married him anyway.  Lesson to be learned: don’t marry someone thinking you can change him.

Finally, I think some women are secretly jealous that their hubbies have found a cool, inexpensive way to have fun with their guy friends.  So maybe, just maybe, the real solution here is the old adage, “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”  Build a woman cave!  

And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Dilemma: When to Drop the Bible Bomb

I was e-mailing with a friend today, and we were talking about evangelism.  More specifically, we were talking about the drive-by variation, where well-meaning Christians approach total strangers with the gospel, usually in the form of a little tract or booklet.

I’ll just say it up front: I’m not a huge fan of the drive-by Bible bomb drop off.  I know people come to Christ in this way, and so I’m not going to say there’s no redeeming value in the approach (wow, I just made a pun). But most of the time, I think it puts people off.  And I’m willing to bet a lot of Christians would be annoyed if it were the Mormons or the JWs doing the drive-by on them.

Anyway, this conversation got me thinking.  At what point do you drop the Bible bomb?

Case in point: My husband and I just bought our first house and moved into a new neighborhood.  We’re literally the new kids on the block–kids, I say, because we’re probably at least 10 and in some cases 20-30 years younger than most people in our neighborhood.  Still, we believe in God and Jesus as His plan for a relationship with mankind (wow–that sounded really textbookish), and so we feel both a desire and obligation to eventually share the gospel with our neighbors.  So, the question looms: when?

I know there’s the standard response of, well, just get to know them and let them see Christ in your life. But then what? I think people break into two camps at this point.  There’s those who feel that once you’ve established a relationship, it’s time to share the gospel.  And I understand why–it’s a dying world!  If we love our neighbors and friends, we want to share Christ with them.  But then there’s others who seem to think hey, if you just “be Jesus” to the world, eventually people are going to see this “light” in you and ask you about it.  I guess I’ve just never seen a real-life example of this happening.  It certainly hasn’t to me, although I’m fully willing to admit this could be because I just haven’t been a great representation of Jesus!

I’ll admit it: if I were one of my neighbors and some young upstart who just moved into my neighborhood came over and asked “would you like to come to church with me?” I’d be freaked out by it.  After all, I don’t know anything about them, or their church for that matter.  And I have my own background and opinions already.

I might be more receptive if they took time to get to know me and build my trust, but still.  I’m trying to think, if I were them, what would make me most comfortable with a spiritual conversation?

I think part of the problem here is the fact that faith/religion is pretty much the only social taboo in our society anymore.  It’s totally socially acceptable to talk about sex, drinking, smoking weed, even politics to an extent, but once someone brings up “God,” or “Jesus,” everyone else starts to squirm.  I guess we shouldn’t  be surprised…Jesus did say this would happen!

But still.  There’s got to be some type of balance between not offending people with the gospel and never mentioning your faith out of fear.

Obviously, I don’t profess to have the answers.  I’m  just throwing this out there, wondering if anyone else has felt the same way?  I can’t really think of too many Bible passages that offer an example I can particularly relate to (although I know the one that immediately comes to mind is the passage in Acts where Paul relates the gospel to the altar of the unknown god.)

If anyone reading this is of a religion other than Christian, or of no religion, I want to pose a question:  Is it always offensive if someone tries to talk with you about faith, or can it be pleasant if done in a respectful way?

I’m interested in hearing people’s thoughts.  Thanks for reading, and I hope people will feel comfortable commenting.