I know the rest of the country is angry as usual with President Bush. (I think it’s that he didn’t respond to the Georgia crisis fast enough. Or he responded too fast. Or they didn’t like his response. Or they don’t like the way he says “Georgia.”) But I am extremely happy with President Bush tonight, because he bought me an iPhone! Yay! Thank you, President Bush.
In case you’re wondering, I didn’t actually get an iPhone in a gift box from George Bush. Actually, my husband and I used our stimulus check for iPhones. Being the responsible citizens that we are, we felt the need to do what the stimulus check was designed to do–that is, stimulate the economy–so we went out and SPENT IT! And even better, we spent it on iPhones, which locks us into a 2-year expensive contract with AT&T…which means we’ll stimulate the economy each month when we pay our bills. Yes, we are just that civic-minded.
Here’s the way I see it. I pay a good deal of money (especially when compared to my gross income) every year to support a bunch of government programs that I am not using. Some of them, such as taxpayer-funded abortions, I morally disagree with. I don’t have a choice, though, so I pay Uncle Sam every April 15. Well, THIS time, a government program is benefiting ME, in the form of an iPhone. So, I figure I owe President Bush a thank you for paying for my iPhone.
Although, when you really think about it, all the government did with the stimulus package was give us back our own money. So, lest we become too joyful, let us remember–the government takes off the top. See, they are smart where ordinary citizens aren’t. They know that we citizens have a tendency to blow extra money on things like–oh, say, iPhones. If we were to have first crack at our money, the government knows they might not get what has apparently become rightly theirs. So, they do what we are too stupid to do and pay themselves first.
So, I actually bought myself an iPhone with my own money. Hmm…. So maybe, to be perfectly accurate, I should say, “Thank you, George W. Bush, for allowing me to use my own money to buy an iPhone.”
In all seriousness, I’m not sure whether the stimulus package is going to “work.” I’m not an economist. But I would venture a guess. The economy has gained some steam in recent weeks and months, growing just under 2% April-June. At least for now, the “recession” is nonexistent (remember, you have to have 2 straight quarters of negative growth for a recession).
I’m going to guess that the stimulus package will have a modest positive impact on the economy. Sure, there will be some smart folks who actually save or invest their stimulus check. But, let’s be real. The rest of us are way too used to spending first and saving last to be able to resist spending at least some of that money. I’m not that good at math, but I figure if a whole lot of people spend a whole lot of money, that has to end up doing some good for the GDP.
As Barbara Streisand says in Hello Dolly, “Money is like manure. It should be spread around.” Well, I just spread mine around but good! And did I mention I got an iPhone?
Nice, glad they finally came in. Let me know when you’re going in to have the injections in your thumb, I might go with you. Not that I have an iPhone, just the iPod. But, if you want the company……..
Jimmy, I know it’s a little late for me to respond to this, but I was actually thinking it’d be great if they could just implant an “ichip” in my brain so I could type on my iphone merely through the powers of my mind.